


Not Enough

by AliceMcGee



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Cuddling, Episode: s02e07 How Are Thou Fallen, Kissing, M/M, Malec, Post 2x07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 17:12:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9773900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliceMcGee/pseuds/AliceMcGee
Summary: So this is set right after the end of 2x07. I’m not sure how I feel about the whole sex step. First, I was kind of pissed about the sexy discretion shot - in the same episode where we get Jace fooling around naked with some random chick - come on! So I wrote this and I hope there will be more than boys going through the bedroom door when they do have sex.Magnus isn’t that sure about sleeping with Alec yet, so they decide to “just” cuddle instead."Having sex is easy, you just gotta find someone who wants you and you get to bed with them and let the lust take control. But that’s… That’s just not enough with the two of us, not for me."





	

Magnus’ mind was full of Alec - Alec’s scent, his trembling fingers struggling to undo another button on Magnus’ shirt, the warmth radiating from Alec’s body, his smooth hair tickling the back of Magnus’ hands as he was pulling Alec’s face closer and closer… Their lips were firmly pressed together and Magnus was getting more and more lost in his feelings as they stumbled into his bedroom, forgetting anything that wasn’t Alec.  
Until he bumped into his bed. It wasn’t really gentle bump, thanks to Alec’s eagerness, and the pain in the back of his knees seemed to sober him a little. He managed to break off the kiss and placed his hands against Alec’s chest to get a bit of fresh air.  
“Alexander.” His voice was husky and nothing more than a whisper. He looked into Alec’s eyes, wide and glittering with desire, and almost gave up. Why must it be so hard to do a right thing! Magnus closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths to steady himself enough to look at Alec again.  
The other man was cautious, his flustered face blushing even more as he was apparently getting embarrassed, not knowing what this was about. “What is it, what’s wrong?” he asked.  
“Nothing’s wrong, Alec,” Magnus let out a nervous chuckle. “It’s just… it’s a bit too… I don’t know,” he threw his arms into air and took a few steps away, alarmed by his own bewildered feelings. This wasn’t like him. Like, at all. He was hundreds years old, he’d lived through thousands of nights like this… Except, no, he hadn’t. Not like this. There weren’t that much of nights like this.  
Magnus looked at Alec again and saw the expression of utter confusion on his face and it hurt him that he wasn’t able to explain himself to Alec properly. He lifted his hand to touch Alec’s face, his thumb caressing Alec’s cheek. Alec caught his hand and pressed it against his lips and then against his chest, so Magnus could feel his heart beating fast and strong. His eyes were bright and as honest as they could be.  
“I told you,” he muttered as he closed the distance between them again. “I want this.”  
Magnus’ will almost gave in as he was once again caught in the storm of feelings Alec’s kiss brought. It took an enormous effort to break away once more.  
“I know you do,” he breathed against Alec’s lips. “It’s me I’m not so sure about.”  
He immediately regretted saying it, as Alec’s body tensed up and he stepped back, his back unnaturally straight.  
“You… you don’t… want me?” he asked, obviously trying to hide the hurt tone of his voice and completely failing at it. Magnus almost cursed, but the words were out and there was no way to take them back.  
“Oh, Alexander, you have no idea how much I want you,” he sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. Then he sat down on his bed and gestured Alec to take a seat too, but the boy ignored him and remained in place, arms defensively folded across his chest.  
“Look, if it’s about me not being with anyone before-” Alec started, but Magnus cut in. “It’s not. I told you I don’t care.”  
“So what is it about?”  
“Honestly? I’m not sure. I just don’t feel like it’s a right time.” Magnus let out another sigh, hang down his head and covered his face with hands. Seriously, what was wrong with him? The way he felt about Alec - he’d almost forgotten he had the ability to feel it, but then this tall, gorgeous shadowhunter came into his life and now, things were just… happening. Except this one thing.  
Finally, he felt the bed sank down a bit as Alec joined him, apparently careful not to be too close.  
“Listen, Magnus, I… I don’t have many experiences in this sort of… well, none, to be precise. I just thought…” his voice trailed off, leaving the air between them thick with unspoken questions and uncertainty.  
“Yeah, I understand,” Magnus opened his eyes again and turned to face Alec, whose expression was solemn and there was still confusion, but luckily, the pain was almost gone from his eyes. “Look, this is not just about experience. Having sex is easy, you just gotta find someone who wants you and you get to bed with them and let the lust take control. But that’s… That’s just not enough with the two of us, not for me. I don’t just want to sleep with you, I want to be with you - really, properly be with you,” he tried to explain. Alec was looking at him, trying to grasp what Magnus was talking about.  
“What makes you think it wouldn’t be this?” he asked and Magnus breathed out in relief. At least Alec was trying to understand, that was a good sign.  
“I’m not sure. I just don’t feel like it’s the right time,” he repeated and avoided making eye contact with Alec, fearing he would see disappointment. But when Alec’s hands took him by shoulders and turned him to face him, the fear just evaporated. Alec pressed his lips against Magnus’ temple and then right under his ear and slowly traced his jawline, finding his mouth and placing a slow, delicate kiss there and Magnus couldn’t help himself from kissing back. Alec’s hands were caressing his shoulders, his arms and torso, but the raw desire was replaced by sweet tenderness. Magnus buried his face into Alec’s shoulder, breathing in Alec’s scent mixed with aftershave. All the worries and uncertainty were gone, leaving behind just calm pleasure of being close and the feeling of Alec’s hands lazily stroking his back.  
“That’s alright,” Alec whispered between kisses as he laid slowly on the bed, pulling Magnus with him. “We have all the time in the world. We don’t have to hurry things up.”  
“Thank you, Alexander,” Magnus whispered against Alec’s throat and then placed a line of light kisses on the soft skin between Alec’s neck and shoulder. “I promise we’ll get there. We’ll just take it slow for now, okay?”  
“Okay,” Alec replied and pulled Magnus’ face back to his, their lips meeting in another burning kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> After writing this, I changed my mind and in my imagination, Magnus would too, so consider this a foreplay. Or maybe not. I’m bad at making final decisions.


End file.
